God tells us in His Word that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able to bear, but with the temptation He will provide a way for us to escape the temptation.
One day at work I was feeling pretty weak - dry, with my mind on worldly things. I decided I'd go out for lunch and just do or spend whatever I wanted to. I was tired of fighting and resisting.
So as I walked out to the parking lot towards my car, I was thinking of what I could do - what would I enjoy? Self was having fun. But there was a small part of me that was thinking I shouldn't do this. But Self was saying "Oh c'mon... you've been fighting... you need a break. What the heck..."
I was almost to my car when out of nowhere I hear inside me - "It's MY money..." I knew that Voice. Right then, I kept walking but I did a U-turn on the sidewalk and started walking back to the building. I'd have to get lunch inside.
That's all it took... I was slipping and I didn't care, but my Father did. And all He had to do was remind me who owned ALL the money in the world. It was His. I had no right to spend however I pleased, tho I had been guilty of that before. I didn't have to grit my teeth, or struggle. His Word broke through the lie of the enemy.
In His faithfulness, He kept me from making another big mistake, another sin. He didn't have to. And I wasn't even listening. But He provided the way to escape, even when I wasn't looking for it. That's love.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Reaching Out
I was in pain.
Not physical pain, but emotional - from a deep wound that had been hidden for years. Not a wound caused by an attack, but the result of a need left unmet.
The pain was real - a deep ache in my inner man, and a sadness that did not produce tears. And there was nothing I could do to relieve it. Oh, I could have "medicated" it, as I had many times before, but Jesus had set me free from that crutch of sin which only brought death and more heartache to me and my loved ones.
It was Sunday, and time to drive to church. So as we prepared to leave, my wife asked me what was bothering me. I told her I was hurting. She knew the cause, and she knew that I was struggling. Her reponse was "Sweetheart, you have to die to the pain." What?? DIE to the pain - let the pain have the victory? No, I wanted to be the victor, after all hadn't Jesus give us victory over sin and death? I couldn't understand, but maybe God had given her wisdom in the situation. I had no idea what to do but to give it to Jesus - again.
We were late for church, and as we drove a light rain pattered on the windshield, and the wipers wiping it away - temporarily - again and again and again....
We arrived at church and from outside the sanctuary we could tell it was full. The only few seats available were in the back - the very back, in the corner. That would be perfect so I could retreat, not feeling happy or wanting to talk to many people.
The praise and worship time was already underway, and everyone was on their feet - praising and clapping after a moving song of praise. The Holy Spirit was present and Jesus was being exalted.
As we reached our seats, the music leader spoke and prayed as the music quieted and slowed into a more worshipful mood. I was determined that even though I didn't feel much like singing, that I would press in with all I had. Sometimes that's what is needed - a sacrifice of praise, and even though my mind didn't want to sing, my spirit needed to praise Him despite my situation or mood.
The music started and it was a song we had learned many months earlier. I remember really liking what the song said - it was about making the choice - CHOOSING to worship God, even when we didn't want to. "Perfect" I thought as we began to sing. I sang with all the inner strength I had, despite the way I felt.
The first verse went like this:
I could stand outside Your gates, and never enter in,
I could let this moment pass and go my way again.
I could just keep silent, and hold from You my praise,
Or I could give my heart away.
Press in, I thought, even if it kills you...
Then we began the chorus:
I choose to worship,
I choose to love You,
To this day I cannot adequately describe with words what happened next. All I can say is that as I began to sing those words, suddenly I had the distinct, strong impression that..... Jesus was speaking those words BACK to me! My mind knew the words, and my mouth sang them, but in my spirit the God Who knew my every thought and feeling was saying the words I was singing back to me. He KNEW what I was feeling, the pain AND it's cause, and He wanted me to know:
I choose to worship,
I choose to love You
To reach out and touch Your heart.
Here in this moment I want to know You
O, I choose to worship You.
O, I choose to worship You.
(Quickly, a side note before anyone freaks out.... I, too, thought, "God doesn't choose to worship me... that's just wrong!" However, I was asking a wonderful brother of mine about this and he said that sounded right because the word "worship" in one of it's basic definitions means "to reach (stretch out) towards". So I translate that to mean that at that point, God was saying He chose to reach out toward me. Only HE is worthy of adoring worship).
So the realization washed over me that God was face-to-face with me and what I was going through at that moment. Everything I had been holding back inside me just broke. I wept freely, trembling, letting go of the pain, experiencing intimacy with the Father. For several minutes I could not speak. Father was there, reaching out, touching the wound, and healing as only HE can heal.
Let Him touch the hidden wounds in your life that only He can heal. He wants to... let Him reach out to you as you reach out to Him.
I Choose To Worship by Lynn DeShazo and Gary Sadler (c) 1997 Integrity's Hosanna! Music
Not physical pain, but emotional - from a deep wound that had been hidden for years. Not a wound caused by an attack, but the result of a need left unmet.
The pain was real - a deep ache in my inner man, and a sadness that did not produce tears. And there was nothing I could do to relieve it. Oh, I could have "medicated" it, as I had many times before, but Jesus had set me free from that crutch of sin which only brought death and more heartache to me and my loved ones.
It was Sunday, and time to drive to church. So as we prepared to leave, my wife asked me what was bothering me. I told her I was hurting. She knew the cause, and she knew that I was struggling. Her reponse was "Sweetheart, you have to die to the pain." What?? DIE to the pain - let the pain have the victory? No, I wanted to be the victor, after all hadn't Jesus give us victory over sin and death? I couldn't understand, but maybe God had given her wisdom in the situation. I had no idea what to do but to give it to Jesus - again.
We were late for church, and as we drove a light rain pattered on the windshield, and the wipers wiping it away - temporarily - again and again and again....
We arrived at church and from outside the sanctuary we could tell it was full. The only few seats available were in the back - the very back, in the corner. That would be perfect so I could retreat, not feeling happy or wanting to talk to many people.
The praise and worship time was already underway, and everyone was on their feet - praising and clapping after a moving song of praise. The Holy Spirit was present and Jesus was being exalted.
As we reached our seats, the music leader spoke and prayed as the music quieted and slowed into a more worshipful mood. I was determined that even though I didn't feel much like singing, that I would press in with all I had. Sometimes that's what is needed - a sacrifice of praise, and even though my mind didn't want to sing, my spirit needed to praise Him despite my situation or mood.
The music started and it was a song we had learned many months earlier. I remember really liking what the song said - it was about making the choice - CHOOSING to worship God, even when we didn't want to. "Perfect" I thought as we began to sing. I sang with all the inner strength I had, despite the way I felt.
The first verse went like this:
I could stand outside Your gates, and never enter in,
I could let this moment pass and go my way again.
I could just keep silent, and hold from You my praise,
Or I could give my heart away.
Press in, I thought, even if it kills you...
Then we began the chorus:
I choose to worship,
I choose to love You,
To this day I cannot adequately describe with words what happened next. All I can say is that as I began to sing those words, suddenly I had the distinct, strong impression that..... Jesus was speaking those words BACK to me! My mind knew the words, and my mouth sang them, but in my spirit the God Who knew my every thought and feeling was saying the words I was singing back to me. He KNEW what I was feeling, the pain AND it's cause, and He wanted me to know:
I choose to worship,
I choose to love You
To reach out and touch Your heart.
Here in this moment I want to know You
O, I choose to worship You.
O, I choose to worship You.
(Quickly, a side note before anyone freaks out.... I, too, thought, "God doesn't choose to worship me... that's just wrong!" However, I was asking a wonderful brother of mine about this and he said that sounded right because the word "worship" in one of it's basic definitions means "to reach (stretch out) towards". So I translate that to mean that at that point, God was saying He chose to reach out toward me. Only HE is worthy of adoring worship).
So the realization washed over me that God was face-to-face with me and what I was going through at that moment. Everything I had been holding back inside me just broke. I wept freely, trembling, letting go of the pain, experiencing intimacy with the Father. For several minutes I could not speak. Father was there, reaching out, touching the wound, and healing as only HE can heal.
Let Him touch the hidden wounds in your life that only He can heal. He wants to... let Him reach out to you as you reach out to Him.
I Choose To Worship by Lynn DeShazo and Gary Sadler (c) 1997 Integrity's Hosanna! Music
Monday, April 6, 2009
OWNED!
We all want to feel wanted, to feel like we belong.
We were having communion one Sunday at church about 10 years ago now. It was towards the end of the service, after the sermon, and I wasn't on the music team that Sunday so I was sitting out in the congregation with my family on the right side that faced the stage. Communion has always been a solemn time for me, since the Word tells us to examine ourselves before taking it, to see if we're right with the Lord.
We took the bread and I thanked Jesus with my whole heart for His body that was beaten and broken for my healing - physical and mental.
When the grape juice came we all waited and drank at the same time. I thanked Jesus for shedding His blood so all my sins could be forgiven and washed away. I felt very close to Him, and then I heard in my spirit "You are Mine!" Out of nowhere that thought/sound just came. It's hard to describe, but I felt Jesus was saying that He claimed me as His own.
What a feeling of security... wow. I just sat there for a second, oblivious to what was going on, just soaking it in. Then I thanked Him for making me His.
Jesus said "... do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." To know that we are His.
There's a song I love that is about being His - "I Am Yours" by Casting Crowns.
Watch and listen to it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q&feature=related
and thank Him that because of what HE'S done, you are His.
We were having communion one Sunday at church about 10 years ago now. It was towards the end of the service, after the sermon, and I wasn't on the music team that Sunday so I was sitting out in the congregation with my family on the right side that faced the stage. Communion has always been a solemn time for me, since the Word tells us to examine ourselves before taking it, to see if we're right with the Lord.
We took the bread and I thanked Jesus with my whole heart for His body that was beaten and broken for my healing - physical and mental.
When the grape juice came we all waited and drank at the same time. I thanked Jesus for shedding His blood so all my sins could be forgiven and washed away. I felt very close to Him, and then I heard in my spirit "You are Mine!" Out of nowhere that thought/sound just came. It's hard to describe, but I felt Jesus was saying that He claimed me as His own.
What a feeling of security... wow. I just sat there for a second, oblivious to what was going on, just soaking it in. Then I thanked Him for making me His.
Jesus said "... do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." To know that we are His.
There's a song I love that is about being His - "I Am Yours" by Casting Crowns.
Watch and listen to it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q&feature=related
and thank Him that because of what HE'S done, you are His.
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